Pep up the soiree with a game of ‘Guess the Party Animal’! Whatever the occasion, no respectable ‘bash’ is complete without its menagerie of rare guests, crying out to be classified. Being a show-off Latin scholar, I’ve even added their scientific names…
Gigglum Forte Constantus. No need to consult David Attenborough, the laugh is clearly audible as you get off the Tube. Prosecco in hand, you make a note to self; if cornered by Hyena, discuss the latest hurricane. Anything to avoid the strains of a dining table being dragged across floorboards.
The Hyena’s natural party habitat is Trufflesecco, whose philosophy is “to celebrate everyday life in style with a glass of bubbles and a bite of truffles”. Let your inner Hyena cackle delighted between sips!
Docilus Nibblae Adnauseum. Beaming up at you, this affable chump will gladly clink glasses and pronounce on the Slough ring-road. But when snacks appear – be they twiglets or olives, kettle chips or vol-au-vents – attention will stray. Emboldened with drool, Labrador bounds off to execute ‘Operation Hoover’.
You’ll find our Labrador chomping away at big-serving venues, such as Bubba Gump, where you can’t see the bottom of your seafood platter!
Two Turtle Doves
Trio Est Crowdum. Joined at the tail feathers, this pair is far too discreet to fraternise. They could be best friends or something more, but what business is that of yours? One flies off to get soft drinks while the other checks out the buffet for lactose. This is a solemn exercise in survival – rather like the well-stocked doomsday bunker at the end of their garden.
Found often at vegetarian joint The Gate, don’t mind them, the menu is far more important. It will mark the beginning of your discovery of vegetarian and vegan food, and the wonders they can hide!
Grande indolentus lumpae. Make yourself at home does not mean become part of the furniture! But the more Sloth sinks into that three-seater, the more they seem part of it. As the party wears on and yet another semi-recumbent drinks order goes in, you start to wonder how this sedentary beast might appear, upright. Alas, you never find out.
Pubs suit the Sloth best, so you’ll see the Sloth draped around a pleather sofa in any of The Draft House breweries, free houses and boozers, downing a pint.
Oblivio Misconductus Grossi. The talk of the office party! Having not said boo to a goose all year in its natural habitat (Accounts), this shy and retiring creature is suddenly throwing shapes in a loud shirt and downing Sambucas! Before long, things turn more inappropriate. Beer goggles on, chocks away…crash.
Our mimetic friend will be most likely throwing shapes in larger-than-life Ministry of Sound, demonstrating that you can blend with your surroundings, even covered head-to-toe with glow sticks.
All these “enclosures” can be found in the ENTERTAINER London app, so make sure to get the whole pack downloading it, the London scene is going to get savage!