Don’t Go Breaking My Heart: Valentine’s Day Couple-spotting

For those blessed with having a significant other, the prospect of Valentine’s Day comes with the added pressure of delivering a gift so unique that you out-do yourself on the incredible Christmas present you gifted just six weeks earlier.

For most, a nice meal out will suffice. Nothing says love like watching your better half tear in to a plate of barbecue ribs as the sauce rolls down their chin and in to their lap…aww <3

Not only is it technically illegal to look away from your partner’s loving gaze on pretty much the whole of February (trust us, we know the law), you can’t use the ENTERTAINER app! That alone ought to make you re-schedule your romance, but also a glance around any restaurant can reveal some pretty interesting characters that you might wish to avoid. 

And so, we’re here to help:

The Argument

On the table to the far left is the couple who at any minute are about to explode. He just told her that the whatsapp exchange with Mandy from HR was purely platonic. She’s raised the champagne ready to rain down on his freshly cropped ‘doing it for Valentine’s Day’ haircut.

A place where they don’t waste good bubbly is Champagne + Fromage. There’s no Mandy-related-drama here but plenty of cheese to compliment your loved-up outing, ensuring you and your partner enjoy a hint of French romance.

The Proposal

Positioned at the best table in the house is the guy who is sweating profusely and fidgeting. His loved one continues to question his somewhat moist appearance as he continues to look past her to the kitchen, waiting for the dessert to come out with an engagement ring lodged inside. They’ll no doubt be screams and everybody being required to clap…followed by champagne…Unless she doesn’t find it and proceeds to accidentally swallow it…then we have a whole different scenario.  

There’s nothing wrong with proposals, but if you don’t want to be sat next to someone else’s first step into wedded bliss, head to Barsmith. The atmosphere is everything you’re looking for in an urban-chic London boozer, the pizzas are huge, the cheese platters are immense and the beer is Buy One Get One Free with Cheers 2-for-1 drinks app. Date night never looked so appealing.

The We’re So In Love It’s Disgraceful

You’re signalling casually with a head-jerk to alert your partner to the couple on the table to the right. So in love, that they’ve moved the vase and condiments to a neighbouring table to provide plenty more hand-holding space. Giggling gleefully, dessert comes with one spoon where they proceed to romantically lump globs of Eton mess into each other’s mouths, leaving you feeling like a complete failure in the art of ‘being in love’.

Enoteca Rabezzana has all the amore of Italy mixed with an extensive wine selection ensuring that the romantic interaction comes with a touch of class. You and your partner can enjoy a mini-break away, without leaving the city or even your postcode.

The ‘We’re just friends’

Then there are those who refused to be outcast by a tradition that formed itself in the high middle ages and rose to the commercial prominence the rest us fall prey to every year. And that’s the table in the centre of the restaurant who are one step away from hanging a neon sign above them proclaiming, “YES we’re out on Valentines Day and NO we’re not a couple”… public expression at its finest!

The best place to be seen is The Light Lounge in the heart of Soho where the mood is right and couples who are both friends and loved ones can enjoy a bespoke cocktail under the ambiance of natural lighting. At Light Lounge, natural light is everybody’s friend. 

For a month full of heart-shaped celebrations, we hope you enjoy these recs! And because we really want to give you all our loving, use the promo code LOVELDN to have the ENTERTAINER app for £10! More than 400 Buy One, Get One Free offers, just a tenner away! What’s not to love about that?