There’s no sorrier sight than a naked Christmas tree, bereft of tinsel, blowing between the wheelie bin and the recycling box like Nordic tumbleweed. Only a couple of weeks ago, this handsome chap was adorned and adored, guarding its stash of joyful surprises. Come January, and all that’s left is pine needles and wood chips.
Has January turned you into the forlorn tree, as you stand wedged in the commuter carriage or lie in the bath, poking ripples you thought you didn’t have? Are you the ghost of Christmas past?
Well fear not. January is a state of mind and I’m here to pimp your kaleidoscope!
TIP 1. Create a Christmas shrine.
If you grieve the passing of Christmas as much as I do, then keep the festive feeling alive by decorating the downstairs loo, that fireplace that stopped working in 1987, or even the fridge door with all the paraphernalia that normally decks the hall! You might consider wiring up some flashing lights to come on when you open the front door. You’re guaranteed be high on ‘yo ho ho’ whatever the season!
TIP 2. Elevate yourself.
Quite literally, in fact. We recommend you to grab friends or family and take them high, up in the sky, at the Arcelor Mittal Orbit. From this corrugated iron beauty not only will you be able to put your mind above the metaphorical clouds of January blues, but also you will obtain your ultimate happiness boost by sliding down their twirly whirly slide, preferably screaming “weeee…!!”
TIP 3. Sell your rubbish presents on eBay and buy something you really want
Goodbye electric rolling pin, rainbow coloured lawn mower extension cable and mug in the shape of a toilet. Hello…whatever!
TIP 4. New Year, New You.
As trite and repetitive as that statement is, the fact is, we do want to do better in January! A whole month of pigs in blankets and outdoors Christmas markets have left us with the consistency of an old shrimp vol-au-vent. But most likely the sight of the treadmill will make you break in hives, so instead try a bunch of new fun disciplines, like Ballates Barre. What you’d think could be the name of an exotic villain in a John Le Carre novel, it’s in fact an extremely complete workout that combines ballet, gymnastics, pilates and yoga! The place to go to try it out is Posé & Swan, in Battersea!
TIP 5. Create your own January Advent Calendar
Get that ‘February feeling’ by designing your own January Advent Calendar and counting down to the big day with the help of cool ideas for going out plans behind each window. For example, the 6th January could suggest “Christmas is officially over, cheer yourself up with a Tequila Tasting Session at Cafe Pacifico“; the 15th might say, ‘Beware the Ides of Jan – avoid trashing diet!’ The 24th would read, ‘Only one week left to file your online tax return and avoid the fine’ And finally, the 31st will proclaim ‘It’s February Eve – let’s Party at Zebrano!’
On the following morning, you‘ll wake up, head banging but happy in the knowledge that all the fuss is finally over for another year, and that thanks to the ENTERTAINER app you managed to have a wholesome month, with your bank account still safe and sound…
And isn’t that the true meaning of January?