Lockdown Level 5: A Memoir

Lockdown Level 5 has come to an end, and all we’re left with are a bunch of heartwarming memories. Memories of a time when Saffas were forced to remain in their homes for 5 weeks with a limited supply of work, alcohol, cigarettes, effloads of baking ingredients, a Netflix account, and…

The internet.

The outcome has been nothing short of hysterical, so, we’ve put together some of our favourite memories from Lockdown Level 5, compliments of the ENTERTAINER:


1 | Carole F%$#in’ Baskin

Hey, all you cool cats and kittens. If you went through Level 5 without watching Tiger King obsessively, dressing as Joe Exotic for your group Zoom calls, and blaming Carole for everything that went wrong in your life, then you defs didn’t do it properly. Luckily, you’ve still got level 4 lockdown to give it a bash.

2 | The Bizarre Lockdown Level 5 Challenges 

Dear Challenge creators – you deserve a Lockdown level 5 medal, man. Watching people drinking raw eggs, and running around their garden for charity has been entertaining AF. The best egg challenge prize goes to @juliettepauling – we love you, Dwaaayne.

3 | Should We Have A Braai, Tonight?

Ahhh, yes. We’ve all heard our neighbour’s mom screeching this question to the family from the depths of her deep-freeze on a sunny Saturday afternoon. But, during Lockdown level 5, the question can be heard on any given day, at any time – come rain, shine, Brandewyn, or none. #LockdownBraai has been keeping us up to date with South Africans’ latest braai news, and we love it.

4 | Cyril Ramaphosa, We Heart You!!! 

If there has been any good that has come out of the lockdown level 5, it has been our weekly catch-ups with the best prezzi in the world. Not only have these evenings proven that he is an exquisite leader, but they have also kept us entertained and given us a chance to get to know him better. Let’s keep this going post-lockdown, please, Mr. President?

5 | Brew It, Baby 

If you haven’t tried brewing your own pineapple beer, then we’re assuming you did some proper lockdown stockpiling, or you’re unashamedly digging into your cellar’s vintage wine stash. Either way, you’re actually missing out on some cheap alcoholic GOLD. Pineapple beer, made with pineapple peels, sugar, and yeast is easy to make, kinda delicious, and #trending. The only problemo? Yeast is on short supply, thanks to some wannabe macro-brewers, and the peeps mentioned in #6, below.

6 | The Lockdown Level 5 Bakers 

You get the Lockdown braai-ers, the brewers, and then you get the bakers. These guys are half the reason there’s no yeast on the shelves for your pineapple brew, which is a bit disappointing considering there’s plenty of Sasko available. So, home-baked bread is barely an essential, really. Judgment aside, we love seeing some of our fellow citizens’ baked masterpieces.

7 | The Masks

While no one dares attempt an online mask-application tutorial as Cyril so bravely did, we’re loving the #WearYourMask movement. As we move into Lockdown Level 4, masks will be mandatory, so support one of the many small businesses and the old age homes making some beautiful Proudly South African masks, pa-leeaase.

And, if you missed the chance to get a mask, watch @melly.k_style show you how to make one with your scarf.

8 | The Makeshift Hairdressers 

Resourcefulness at its best, Saffas are entrusting their family members and friends to cut their hair in an attempt to keep themselves looking presentable for, well, around the house, we can only guess. All we have to say is: Thank goodness for hats.

9 | #LockdownSouthAfrica

Finally, whenever you’re feeling down and out and in desperate need of some human connection, you can check out the hashtag, #LockdownSouthAfrica, for the latest lowdown on what other South Africans are getting up to. Remember, guys, we’re all in this together.

Do you have any memories from Lockdown Level 5? We’d love to hear in the comment section, below.

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Kate Dahl